Changes

I have deleted my Facebook account, not suspended it, deleted it.  I have always found FB a very unsatisfying way to communicate.  Cryptic status updates, and nobody really tells much about themselves, a lot of one upmanship and none of the honesty that I employ, and admire in others.  I also don't like the fact that people from the past can find me.  We lose touch with people for a reason.  I may create another page, but not in my own name and with no personal details, but I probably won't.  I was enjoying a private group of women and it is them I will miss the most.  But there are other ways of keeping in touch.  I am also seriously considering shutting this blog down, blogging has become passe it seems, not many update regularly and there isn't that community feel to it like there used to be.  Things change and we move on.
I have changed our phone number, after 3 1/2 years.  Phill was on at me about having a silent number, and as soon as I lifted it, we seemed to get all these unsolicited phone calls from all kinds of companies. So, new phone number, and back to silent.
I talked to Kate today.  She is so self centred, self absorbed, she never asks how I am, just goes on and on in that loud voice about work and how is she not appreciated etc etc, every time we talk. 

Okay, I wrote that yesterday (Monday) and wasn't having the best of days.  Onward and upwards today.
The kids and I were in my room talking yesterday, through my French doors I could see a baby, dressed only in a disposable nappy, on the front lawn of the house across the road, on our side.  It seemed a little odd, but they often let their older boy play in the front yard (why I don't know as they have a very large fenced in backyard).  I said to the kids "Look there's a baby over there"  She wouldn't be more than 15 or 16 months old and wasn't too steady on her feet and we kept waiting for someone to appear to get her, but soon we realised nobody was going to and by the time I had found some shoes she had toddled across the road and was heading for the railway track.  Our road is a heavy vehicle route, and several cars had passed, none of them seemed to notice the baby.  Em and I got to the kerb when a woman, presumably the mother, came running out shouting "My God she must have got out the window!"  and rushed to grab her.  I've had seven babies and none of them were ever in a position to climb out a window.  Seconds later a huge b double thundered down the road, it's a straight stretch and they really get up speed by the time they get up here, and they can't just slam on the brakes like a small car could.  We felt sick to think what might have happened.  We didn't speak to the mother, just walked back inside, I wouldn't have trusted my temper to exchange any words to her. 
School photos yesterday, and these will be treasured ones, as they might be the last ones I have of the two of them.  Emily is really trying so hard at school but the social side is really hard for her, and her friend Sindy has now turned on her.  I don't know what Emily does/says to make people dislike her, if  anything, but it breaks my heart to see her so unhappy, and yet there seems no alternative.  I have given her a note to say she can leave the school grounds at recess and lunch time but yesterday they wouldn't let her go at recess.  I will ring them or go up there today and explain that she is there only to learn, not to socialise and if she cannot leave the school grounds she may well end up dropping out again, and nobody wants that.  She's working really hard and keeping up with her assignments.  In a couple of weeks she won't legally even have to be at school, not that anyone cared for the year and a half she was languishing at home. 
Today I am going to pull out the plants in the two grave plots and dig some compost through it, the compost bin has been going for about seven months or so, so the stuff on the bottom should be more than ready.  Once I have it cultivated I'll plant some Winter vegies.  It's been so hot and dry that the basil didn't really take off.  The silver beet has bolted beyond repair and the mint isn't looking too good either so I think I'll just pull everything out and start again.  Will give me something to occupy myself.  I'm resigned to waiting out this misery till Josh finishes school unless an opportunity presents itself for the three of us before then.  I just need to stay out of Phill's way and keep busy.  He is oblivious, seems to think everything is alright, but that is how he operates.  I know in my heart that I've done everything I can, but it takes two to make a marriage work and that isn't the case here.