Sleepless Sunday

Yesterday morning about 5am Josh came into our room crying with pain.  This has happened twice before, the first time it was very severe and I ended up taking him up to the hospital, again in the early hours.  We had tried to get medication into him to help but with little success.  He woke me from a deep sleep and I was a bit confused but got up and found some clothes and got dressed.  Phill was saying Josh didn't need to go to the hospital, he had given him some liquid Advil and was sure that would fix the problem.  My child was in pain and had been for 12 hours.  I took him to the hospital, but not before Phill called me the C word and said he hated me. ???  It didn't even register with me, I was so worried about Josh.  I woke Em to come with me for support and she did, my little hero, barefooted and bed hair, I love that girl.  While we waited at the hospital she was cracking jokes keeping Josh distracted the whole time.
The nurse checked Josh out, took a urine sample etc and said she could find nothing seriously wrong and we could wait for a doctor or go home and front up to the weekend "clinic" at the medical centre at 10am.  Now in this town you can't get a dr appointment, even if you start ringing at opening hours, but on weekends if you want to pay more you can just rock up and join the queue.  Country living at its worst.  The nurse got Josh to down some soluble Panadol and he was okay so we came home and I got him settled and comfy and raced down to do a badly needed huge grocery shop, got a lot of fruit and fresh salad stuff, I HAVE to change Josh's diet to include more fibre.  The doctor was very, very young and not much help, he didn't order any tests and tried to make out it was car sickness.  Now Emily has sufferred from that since she was a toddler but never, ever, got severe pain like Josh had, she would just throw up.  I went down and got some more Buscopan, the forte this time and he only needs to take one tablet which I won't crush this time will just put it whole in a spoon full of ice cream or similar.
It's 3.30am here, I crashed early with Phill after dinner, he had to go to work at 1am.  Josh is still awake and still in some pain but rejecting taking anything again.  My instinict now is saying something is just not right, you don't get pain like that without a reason.  He was also pale and sweaty yesterday.  Of course today is Sunday, and there will only be another emergency clinic on with yet more inexperienced doctors.  And I have no car.  If I have to, I will take him up to Sydney to our old wonderful doctor who would not have dismissed this so easily, he was very thorough.
So when I got home from all this Phill pointedly ignored me, as is his MO when anything goes wrong.  I got into the kitchen to make some meals for him to take away when he goes to Victoria on Tuesday for eight days (YAY).  I don't know what his problem is, I think he just really hates himself and I'm the whipping boy so to speak.  The things he says to me aren't even relevant and it's more about how he sees himself, not me.  The kids heard how he spoke to me, and I told them I really want to get out sooner rather than later, but neither of them are keen to leave their lives here and go to Perth with me right now, and I won't go without them, it would be like feeding them to the wolves to leave them here with their father.  So once again I have to concede that I am stuck here for at least the next three years. But I decided today, I am going to start saving money in my own bank account that he has no access to, so when the time comes I will have the means to get away if I have to.  I am not a duplicitous person by nature, but it seems I will need to be to extricate myself from all of this. 
At least I'll have a week or so, come Tuesday, where I won't get abused or yelled at.  I'll take it.