Margaret Olley with the Archibald Prize winning portrait of herself by William Dobell.
this evening, and the words and the vision, especially a shot of the Art Gallery of NSW (once such a familiar place), caused a bit of a pang in my heart and a rushing back of so many memories of a time long ago when I lived on the fringe of the art world in Sydney, of almost bohemian times, living and working in the city and all the characters I knew, and the relationships I had and the full on, busy intense life I led for while. I felt nostalgia. But why? I was so often lonely and lost, frequently floundering and mostly not knowing what I really wanted or where I really wanted to be. If I had looked forward twenty five years or so, to where I am now, and the life I have now I would have felt amazed that it would be possible, given the life I had then, and what I had given up to have it. Lately I've been thinking and even talking "good old days" stuff. Just like the old people used to do when I was a very young person. Why do we do this? Life and times are in so many ways, so, so much easier now, so why do we look back with some nebulous kind of longing? Simpler times? I wonder how simple homelessness is? I have been there. Nothing simple about being abused, and abandoned with a baby on the way (twice!) I wonder if one day I will look back on these times with nostaglia? Of course I will.
And with my head now finally clearing the mire, I can look around me and see the truly tragic, sad, and difficult lives of others, known to me and just known of by me.
I have nothing to complain about today. And nor do I, rightfully, most other days.
2 comments:
Speaking for myself only, it's to re-capture part of my youth and being selective of where I want my memory to linger.
The happier times!
The times I felt so alive, but the moments, hours,days, couldn't last forever and time waits for no one.
:0(
What lay ahead was still an unknown ( for that matter, it still is ).
There are some moments back in time that I wish I could have stayed in forever. Unrealistic...I'd say yes.
Doesn't hurt to wish though.
I too also wonder what became of people I knew.
A Penny for your thoughts. ;0)
Maybe, just maybe these are the good old days. In my head there was a magic time the mid '80's till about 2000 when we had full of family Christmases, even though both our parents had gone - and two of don's sisters - but there were really special times - and many after but in between were some awful times for Don health wise, and for Ali the same - now it seems dreadful to know I will never have one of those Christmases again in my family home. But maybe in a few years time when grand kids come along we will have those times yet again
Post a Comment