I am a Tree

Back in the eighties when I was a cool single mum hanging with a bunch of hippies and social workers and the like there was this analogy that coping with stress was being like a tree.  The tree would bend in the wind but never break, it stayed centred and strong.  Meaning that outside forces could sway you and affect you but not break you I guess.  When Emily once again refused to go to school something in me changed and instead of overreacting I realised that I cannot let the situation break me.  I told her that this was her last chance, if she didn't get up and do what she needed to do my support would be withdrawn.  Josh got himself up and dressed and I took him to school, bless his heart, but she still refused saying she was sick. She wasn't sick, she ate heartily the night before and stayed up late spreading her vitriol on Facebook as usual.  Tried to tell me she'd been vomiting all night but the bucket by her bed was clean and dry.  Emily DOES NOT clean.  I just closed her door and calmly went about some housework and then decided to drive up to Young.  I did a lot of thinking on that half hour drive.  I felt a weight lift off me when I realised I could choose how to deal with this problem.  Nothing I have done or tried has made any difference to the situation and while it seems horrible that a mother can give up on her child, that is what I have to do, for now at least.  Joshua is being affected by the constant conflict and that is so wrong.  Why she is so manipulative, abusive, dishonest and lazy I don't know, and believe me we've tried to figure it all out but she is not going to poison this household and this family any longer.  All bets are off, I won't bother trying to get her to school anymore, but she won't have any priveleges either, or any positive attention from me until she straightens up, if she ever does. 
I got some new Winter clothes for Josh and me, and some warm slippers for Phill.  I made salmon quiche for dinner and a self saucing chocolate pudding which was perfect on such a cold night.  Emily came out and asked for something to eat and I told her there was quiche.  She made herself a tuna wrap and took it back into her bedroom.  No problem.  I will cook a meal each night and if she chooses not to eat it so be it.  She will get sick of living in the cesspool that is her room eventually without any prompting from me.
No more drama, I will just not buy into that anymore. 
Had a good talk with Kate last night, that always helps as she knows first hand how Emily is.  One of the few people who do.  And even she was gobsmacked at the garbage Emily is spewing.  And the stealing.  Josh's new phone disappeared.  He left it on the coffee table one night and the next morning it was gone.  We searched the house to no avail.  I believe that Emily took it and gave it to Spittin' Kim.  I have lost my charm bracelet, the locket Mum gave me that she had as a young girl and Sarah's gold name pin as well as the gold earrings my family gave me for my 50th.  When I go out I have to bundle up my jewellery now and take it with me.  Phill found other things of mine that had disappeared, in a hidey hole in Emily's wardrobe, but not the jewellery.
Kate won her round at the awards in Melbourne.  It's a long process and the next step is a trip to Sydney but the best thing is the attention she now has from the upper management of the company and the opportunities this will open up for her.  I always knew she was going to excell but never dreamed it would be like this, through retail.  I always imagined an academic career for her.  But she went her own way and I am so, so proud of her.  Can't wait to see her at the end of the month when she comes to visit.  (She called it "coming home" last night and while I didn't say anything I was secretly pleased).
Cold and rainy again this morning but we don't have to get up for anything.  The move looks to be on hold for now and Josh badly needs school clothes so I'm just going to go ahead and get them I think.