Emily was up and dressed when I came out this morning and everything was on track. Then she asked me if she could come home at recess so she would miss her double period of cooking. She wouldn't tell me why but in the end I figured it was something to do with her not preparing for the lesson. I said no. She needs to be more organised with school instead of running off to the pool every afternoon until it closes. She does no preparation whatsoever. So then it was on. I got angry and ranted a bit and then got a horrible text message saying if she went to school she'd get some card thingy and would never get her school certificate. I highly doubt this, but if it's true she has no one to blame but herself. The worst part of the text message was her hateful words blaming me for it all. I went in and confronted her and she started the crying and the suicide talk, saying she cuts herself (where? I can't see it) and wants to die, why don't I just kill her, same old same old. She says its all my fault she is the way she is and all her problems are because of me. Not true, I have a normal, straight up son and daughter who are perfectly okay and do what is expected of them always. I've really had it with her, she is totally self centred and has the cruelest mouth. I told her she better start looking for a job as soon as she turns 15 because we're not supporting her to sit in her room playing "woe is me" on Facebook with her phone. She started crying very loudly so I packed up all the valuables ready to flee until her father got home. I am loathe to leave her alone in the house because she can't be trusted. She eventually shut up and all is quiet in there but I'm going to stay away. I'm not fighting with her over school anymore, it's too traumatic for both me and Josh. She will be fifteen on Tuesday she can manage her own life and education. But there will be no more driving her and her friend around, no $300 phone that she demanded for her birthday and no more nice Mum from me. Hopefully she'll leave home soon, I've really had enough. I listened to a man on talkback radio just now who has a son who sounds like the male version of Emily, and his other children are all straight down the line good kids, it's just this one. That made me feel better because I beat myself up over where I went wrong with her.
I broke my back cleaning her room last week and now it's trashed again of course, she does nothing in the house, all I really expect from her is to go to school.
We used my stash to pay to get the car registered yesterday, it cost over $600, getting more expensive every year. I had some money leftover so I put some away for Emily's present, and we actually bid on a phone last night and I was going to go down and pay for it today by bank transfer so it will get here quicker. But this morning the news that Phill's company is having money troubles and we just didn't get paid. The other blokes only got their base rate with the promised of their overtime and expenses on Friday. So the phone won't get paid for as we'll need that money to live on. Phill finds out tomorrow whether he gets this job as co-ordinator here in Cootamundra, I hope he does, the company is the one he worked for when we went over to WA and they were wonderful to work for, really took care of their employees. And we never had trouble with getting paid, not once.
So my plans today didn't pan out like I thought they would. I finally got a day, or half a day to myself and the brat bungs it on yet again. I was going to do a big grocery shop as we're out of everything but that will have to wait now.
I've done the bare minimum in the house got the a/c on and am just going to play for the rest of the day.
4 comments:
Thats really tough love you are going through. Sounds like she needs to go to "Brat Camp". Google it if you haven't heard of it already. We threaten B with Brat camp all the time, not that he is old or bad enough...
My heart goes out to you. I know I would feel broken.
Sooner or later I hope she learns that life is what SHE makes it. As a young adult she might have the right to make her own choices, but that comes with the responsibility of consequences that she has to face on her own.
I am really not looking forward to those teenage years. Good on you for not taking on her shit.
I lost my mind (literally) when I hit puberty. I went from an Honor Roll student to ditching class with the misfits, smoking drinking and having sex. It was like a switch turned off in my head at the age of 14. I was a wild child until I met my husband at 19. At his suggestion I started therapy. I wish I had done that sooner, probably would have saved myself and my parents a boatload of grief.
Sorry to hear you're going through this.
ugh. I haven't got anything helpful to say except don't beat on yourself. We all do the best we can and the rest is up to them. Be nice to yourself today! And goodness I hope it all works out with Pill's job situation!
Sometimes you just have to take time out and smell the roses - or the thorns hurt too much
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