Well yesterday didn't pan out quite the way I thought it would. Phone call from the school (I swear they have me on freaking speed dial). One of Josh's teachers has found some creative writing a bit disturbing. He wrote about hurting himself (a first) and wanting to murder his sister (nothing new there, most of us do). So up I go in my housework clothes to talk with yet another "acting DP". Lovely young fellow, earring in the right ear, very earnest. He showed me the writing and the only part I was surprised at was Josh wanting to do harm to himself. The rest was like same old same old. Emily is a bitch and makes all of our lives a misery most of the time. Josh came in and as soon as he saw me smile at him he was fine. I am not worried about his mental state at all, it's all typical teenage stuff, but the good thing is that I really emphasised the bullying thing and finally said that it's time to name names and deal with it. I know that any evidence of self harm makes it mandatory for them to record/report/take action. Find out who these little thugs are and fucking DEAL WITH THEM. So I brought Josh home for lunch and took him back so he could go to sport only to be phoned again to say he'd come back to school "sick". It's getting really hot here and he won't take his jumper off. As soon as I got him home and forced him to take it off he felt better. I was going to let Emily walk home from school, I was just so angry with her as it was some comments she made to Josh (after she overheard him telling me he was proud of himself) that set Josh off. But we had a huge storm right before home time so I drove up to get her. She walked down with the friend who last week was horrible to her and asked if she could come to our house. No. Well could I drive her home? No, I have no petrol. When she finally got in the car I told her what had happened with Josh and that was enough for yet another meltdown. She went on and on, crying, threatening, throwing things the usual crap and in the end I just grabbed her and hugged her and as always she folded and calmed down. I know she scares the crap out of herself but last night she really scared me too. I really feel we've done everything we can do help her and now I pretty much just have to let the whole thing with her run its course. Phill of course blamed me, as these things mostly happen when he's not here. Emily is scared of him and she's not scared of me. He had a hand in having these kids and yet once again I'm not only left alone to cope with the drama, but blamed for it as well.
So today I told the kids the phones would be switched off between the hours of 9am and 3.30pm. What did schools do before phones? What would happen if I had a job? I don't remember the school EVER ringing my mother to come and get me. Once I wet my pants in kindergarten and was allowed to walk home by myself at age five. Mum wasn't home and I sat on the front porch and waited for her. One of the neighbours saw me luckily and rang Mum at work and she came home but I wasn't overly concerned. I have mollycoddled my kids and now we're all paying the price.
I have both the landline and the mobile turned off and I am feeling really out there and daring. And I just don't give a shit.
6 comments:
Sadly, bullying has been around forever....I bet Cain and Able bullied each other....but it is destroying so many wonderful kids. I don't blame you about the phone off thing. i went through a year of that with my daughter....I finally told the school don't call unless it was a blood emergency as in a severed arm or leg.
Sadly, bullying has been around forever....I bet Cain and Able bullied each other....but it is destroying so many wonderful kids. I don't blame you about the phone off thing. i went through a year of that with my daughter....I finally told the school don't call unless it was a blood emergency as in a severed arm or leg.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Rosemary for saying that. I really needed to hear it today.
PHEW!
It's not easy parenting.
My middle child was a handful.
I would get calls to go up to the school and I would hear how he wouldn't sit in class and would get up and do this and do that.
He was DX'd as hyperactive and as I would walk home from school after that meeting all that would run through my mind was,.... do they want me to kill him?
Nothing I had tried had worked.
It wasn't that I wasn't doing something about his behavior.
On my walk home, I crossed over a canal and the thought of jumping in came into my mind.
These educated people just added to my feeling of helplessness and frustrations.
It's too late for my son and I to get the help that was needed, but these people need to help you and Josh.
Kids should not dread going to school because of other kids mouths and threats.
They are the educators and they need to initiate a NO BULLYING policy and enforce it.
They are failing our youths by not acting on their behalf.
(((hugs)))
It really helps me to know I'm not the only one who is going through, and has gone through, this type of stuff.
Thank you both.
When I used to play up with my parents and get angry rude and lie to them, I could have done with a really big hug. Just like you gave your daughter. I think that is all I really wanted. Love and acknowledgement of my feelings, inside is still that little needful child.
Well done you.
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