Katherine Turns 21

That's me with Katy the day after she was born at Westmead Hospital.  The second one is the most recent one I have, sorry about the hangers on, Kate is far left.  I just noticed she has pretty good legs!  It was taken at a Murder Mystery party she threw. That hair is a wig, she has the most beautiful long dark curly hair.  She has a pretty good social life over there it seems and is loving her management job (and the money) and her business course at Uni and sounds really happy, so I'm happy.  She is meeting us in Melbourne in October which will be great, we can celebrate both our birthdays (which are exactly a month apart) together.

Katy's biological father never wanted to see her and never has.  I had a two year live in relationship with him but when I got pregnant he decamped.  No loss to me and to her either.  Phill has been her daddy since she was three and although they had a fractious relationship during her later teen years I hope they will make peace at some point.  He spoke to her on the phone tonight which was good.

Other bits and pieces going on but I'm tired so will catch up tomorrow.  Just wanted to pay a tribute to my big girl Kate, I love her and am so proud of her.  And we saw her on TV tonight!  She used to go to the taping of the Chaser, a comedy show when we lived in Sydney, and we caught the tail end of an old episode and there she was sitting in the front row of the audience. So I did get to see my girl on her birthday, even if it was three years ago.

Well it's not tomorrow but I came in to bed and thought I'd put down what's happened this week.  I came to a harsh realisation on Monday that I need to drastically change my behaviour.  Well the realisation came after two huge wake up calls, both involving Emily but ALL about me.  After many tears and excuses on Tuesday morning (alone) I took the first step to finally getting the help I need to turn my life around.  I know I am being mysterious here but this blog is easily found by anyone who kept the urls off the old blog, of people who link to me.  I have begun a private blog (that in the beginning wasn't so private but that's fixed up now) and that is helping enormously in plotting my progress and coping with what is going to be the biggest fight of my life.  FOR my life in fact.  Many of you can probably guess, some of you may have had to fight this fight yourselves or one similar.  I will talk about it more openly in time, who knows, my sordid story may well help someone else.

My glasses finally broke irretrievably and even Bu Tac couldn't hold them together!  I had been saving some money in my own account for our holiday and although I felt terribly guilty I made myself go down and get my eyes tested and order a new pair of glasses.  I HATE not being able to read, it really depresses me.  I have been making do with a $4.95 pair of magnified ones from the bargain shop which are a godsend as a stop gap.  My eyes are otherwise healthy, they did all the tests and much more pleasant they are now compared to even three years ago.  I told the optometrist I only really needed my glasses for reading, the last pair were tri focals and I never used them as such.  I don't need them to drive yet and I can't walk about wearing them and don't need them for watching tv.  Just reading and close work like crochet.  I told them I just wanted just a cheap pair of frames (they try to push the designer ones on you and they are ridiculously expensive) as we are joining a health fund after Christmas and I will come in in the New Year and maybe get some bifocals so that I can have two pairs of glasses and won't have to panic if one breaks.  I like the new frames they are plastic not metal like the old ones, and are very smart.  And weirdly, the price came to exactly what I had saved.  Exactly, bar 10c.

I am also going back to Weight Watchers next week, I always said I wouldn't but I discovered that I am still 21kg under my original weight back in 1999 so I only have about 12kg to lose this time, much less daunting than the 33 I had when I first joined (and I lost it too!)  I could do it alone but I need the structure for now, and I always enjoyed meetings and I also thought it would be a good way to start meeting people which I am determined to do now.   I have already started the plan loosely, I did it for so long it was easy to fall back into the habits again and am eating three healthy, low fat meals a day and am slowly feeling my health and energy return.  I have lost weight already, mainly fluid but it's a start.  I'm wearing tops that I couldn't get into last year.

Now I'm going to sleep.