Looking back is pointless, except to learn from mistakes and figure out why they were made, and of course to enjoy happy memories. All I have is now and it's time to plan for my future. I have started looking for a job, not an easy task for a 50 year old who has been out of the workforce for over 20 years. But my head is growing clearer every day and I feel the old me returning, and with that determination and resolve and a hope for the future that I haven't had for ages.
A chemical dependency is a terrible thing, it takes over and becomes the "new normal".
The crazy landlady has decided to come with the agent to inspect the house next week and it's stressing me out more than anything else right now so today I will get in and start clearing and cleaning out the stables area and the horrible mess that is the big shed. Phill said he'd help me but I doubt it in his current frame of mind. He's more inclined to just sit on the couch and stare these days. I don't need him, I can do it myself. This may well be a recurring theme in the coming days.
Feeling better every day. Last night the kids and I got into our pjs and my bed, with a big bowl of popcorn and watched Family Guy episodes on the laptop. They snuggled into me and we laughed together and they went to bed tired but happy. They are proud of me for the changes I am making in my life. And so am I.
3 comments:
In the words of Oogway of Kung Fu Panda fame. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That's why they call it the present." Good luck as you look forward while enjoying each day.
chin up...tits out
apart from the mad landlady life sound good!!
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