Still In Bed

But the good old remedies are spot on.  Rest, warm and fluids are the best treatment for a cold (thanks Rosemary!).  I've been in bed all day, it's nearly 2pm and I'm feeling so much better than yesterday.  But it's SO HARD.  I talked the other day about guilt, maternal guilt and I have been thinking a lot about it today.  Phill is home and was happy to get the kids off to school as he does most days anyway when he's home.  And he's done the washing, dishwashing, shopping etc and waited on me a bit.  I have no burning reason to get out of bed so why do I feel so guilty about taking time for ME to get better?  I'm not a martyr, and I always thought I did stuff for myself and took time out but I really don't.  And I truly believe kids pick up on a mother's guilt and play on it, it's a natural thing for naturally self centred kids.  Even Phill does I think too sometimes.  I need to do some serious self talk here.  I was really sick yesterday yet still put a nutritious meal on the table for them.  I have a big piece of pork in the oven now and they will get another hearty meal tonight.  I never saw myself as a perfectionist, not even close but I'm thinking that a lot of my anxiety is due to not always having everything just "so".  I tell myself  that as I don't work outside the home that there is no excuse to not be supermum/wife/housekeeper.  But we eat well, have clean clothes and beds and I spend a lot of time talking to and listening to, my family.  I often don't attempt or finish creative projects in case they don't turn out perfectly.  Who cares?  I need to give myself a break I think.

This new method of pork crackling is great.  I've talked about it here before but the simple act of pouring a full kettle of boiling water over the scored pork rind as it sits on a rack over the sink, then rubbing in well some oil and sprinkling on a little salt gets great results, and I've tried a lot of different ways over the years.

It's another freezing cold rainy day and I can't get warm enough in bed even with the electric blanket on so I think I'll go back to the lounge where the heater is on.