Josh really enjoyed his first day of the film project. There is a group called the A Team which consists of kids who've had problems at school, Em was in it before she left and it's them who are doing this film about themselves with the help of someone from a uni in Canberra. Josh said it was the first time he had day when he didn't get bullied once. They got their lunch and snacks and drinks, they must have got funding from somewhere for it. We just got a call this morning asking for permission for Josh to go downtown to do some filming in a couple of the shops. It's a really nice way to end the year for him.
We went and spoke to the principal and the advisor yesterday and I came away feeling a lot more confident about Emily's return to school. They told us that most of the girls who gave Em a bad time have left the school, and they are aware that her concerns are lunchtime and recess and told us we can work something out, even if she comes home at lunchtime. Cath, the advisor, thinks Emily will make different friends with better kids, as the kids in 11 and 12 mostly want to be there. She had a dummy spit last night over what we don't know as she doesn't tell us. But although she will turn 17 soon, she is still quite immature in many ways. Gosh I was living out of home and supporting myself when I was 16 but I can't imagine her doing that for a long time. Anyway time will tell, and if this plan fails I don't know what we'll do, but it's good to feel once again that we have the support of the school.
We also found out yesterday that Emily's former mentor, Julie, who she worked with every week for most of 2010, is very ill with breast cancer. That was a blow, Julie was wonderful to Emily and Emily was very fond of her. Cath asked if Emily would write to Julie which I think is a nice idea.
I was wondering yesterday if worrying can become a habit, like negativity? Ever since that awful year in Junee when everything seemed to go wrong I seem to live in a perpetual state of "what next?" It's pointless to think that way, intellectually I know it, and I don't think I'm as bad as I was. We can manage our lives as best we can and anything else is out of our control so why not just be positive? We all know people who are negative and bemoaning that their glass is always half empty, what drainers they are.
I'm still fighting this cold, and am totally sick of it, was tempted to stay in bed but made myself get up and do things and I'm sure that helps. Put a pot of steak and kidney in the slow cooker to make pies for dinner, I thought it was gravy beef when I got it out of the freezer last night, and the kids won't eat s&k so I had some chilli in the freezer which I got the bright idea of making into pies for them. They probably won't eat that either.
We have beans! And little tomatoes, too many of them, I trimmed the bush a bit as it's rambling all over the place, I need to go out and tie it up again. I also need to weed the graves and pull out the radishes to make room for some more herbs. Lots of basil I think to make pesto. I feel really woolly headed today, a bit of sunshine and fresh air might help me feel better.
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