Sometimes Running Away IS the Answer

It was coming for a long time.  I will not go into too much detail here, I feel increasingly insecure about who is reading.  I took off not knowing where I would go or what I would do.  I found help in a fairly unlikely place within the family, and was able to book into accommodation here in town for a few days and even had use of a car.  All I took with me was a few clothes and my new phone.  I got my hair done, met the kids for a meal at the club to reassure them that the world wasn't ending and eventually spoke to Phill on the phone.  He surprised me with his reaction.  Finally I had some leverage, as somebody offered me a way out of all this, without me having to compromise anything.  I would have somewhere to live until I got on my feet and the prospect of work, part time at first then full time later. The children could come with me or stay.  I was so, so close to going.  But for the first time I was able to express myself to him in a safe environment where he couldn't storm off, or get angry, or start abusing me without the conversation ending abruptly.  I wasn't asking for much from him, believe me.
Anyway the short of it is that I am back home and he knows that the offer still stands from my relative and that I could take it up at any time if things don't improve.
I had a lovely break away, did some serious thinking, and felt supported and listened to by people I never dreamed cared so much.

In the meantime we got notice to vacate here and so will move in a couple of weeks into a bigger house with a pool and spa (right in time for Winter!!) but closer to town and on a level block.  It will be so nice to get away from the nosey neighbours and have some more privacy and quite a bit more room.  Our room has an ensuite bathroom and a walk in wardrobe.  Only problem is that the owner will only give us a six month lease, but that's okay, it will give us time to sort out what we are going to do.

I closed down my blog temporarily because I couldn't take my computer and only had limited net access on my phone and didn't know if anyone here could get into the blog account.  I am still in two minds about keeping it, at least in this form.  Call me paranoid but I'm also a spillguts and if I can't blog all of it I won't blog at all.