I ended up having a really nice day and evening on my own yesterday, and saw in the New Year quietly but with surprising resolve. Sadly the kids didn't seem to have as nice a time, Em rang in the afternoon to say that Phill had left them in the hotel room and gone out drinking somewhere. No surprises there. When I rang her at midnight she said he was asleep and that they hadn't stayed with Phill's mother to see in the new year after all. Nice.
It's a beautiful day here, the town from my window looks bright and clean and hopeful and this is the core of the human spirit isn't it? Hope springs eternal. I've been down in the last year, probably more than ever in my life but I'm still here and still hopeful for my future. I know I can't stay in the situation I am currently enduring, that is now certain. How I will extricate myself from it is unclear but I will. I won't be making any stupid, sudden moves, I will consider and plan carefully. I know I have to change my "heart on sleeve" approach and get a little more cunning, which is not in my nature at all but I can't see why I should walk away with nothing after 18 years.
A few other changes are planned as well which I won't spruik about now, a minor one is no more Facebook. I got rid of it once before and this time it will stay gone. A very unsatisfying way of communicating. It was nice to be back in touch with old school friends but it remained very shallow and just another avenue for some people to play head games.
I am enjoying the peace of Sunday morning and a clean house before they come back and start trashing the place again.
5 comments:
I am with you re Facebook...only started there when we were trying to find a family member...found him and then people started finding me...may give up on it when i get settled.
You wrote, "It's a beautiful day here, the town from my window looks bright and clean and hopeful and this is the core of the human spirit isn't it? "
Thats the core of it all. So sorry about some things in your life...but as you imply "hope springs eternal" Sometimes things change in ways you least expect and can not know and while it might seem not what you want it can be exactly what you need... that's how my life has felt and why don and I were so good together was that we felt the same this way, along with all our fights and discussions... I just hope for you that whatever happens or does not happen, you and yours will be happy, well and have love in your lives
watch your back...do what's right for you and the kids..let me know if you need an ass kicked..I still have one assault and battery left in me.
Here's to the new year, full of hope and many good thing for you. It will be interesting to see where you are this time next year.
See being alone sometimes is good. You do know that rant I had the other day wasn't about you, right? But if it helped you I'm happy. I wanted to ask you if you would like to write a article for In My Garden blog? And/or help me to know about the plants where you live. Blessings Sister Woman
BridgetsDaughter5
I've ditched my Facebook for the time being too :) I spent more time on there watching others live their lives than living my own. I'm sure I'll go back to it soon, but more focussed on me for now.
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