Obviously it doesn't have to be a special occasion which brings her to mind. I don't think about her every day like I used to, that is human nature. She is with me, in me, all the time and of course I don't want to bring to mind, the fact that my baby died, each and every day, after 17 years.
Every now and then though, the memories just crash into me, that's the only way to describe it, I can't help it, can't stop it and cannot push it away.
My baby died. I found her dead in her cot. There was nothing I could do about it. And yet I blamed myself as all mothers do. All of the "what ifs".
Everyone expected me to "get over it" and on the surface I did. We had another baby, and then another one and life went on. I didn't get over it and I never will. MY BABY DIED.
Sometimes I feel her with me, some more than others. She is sensible and she tells me to calm down and just accept what we can't change now. Easy for her to say. I want her back. She should be here with me.
I'm okay, sometimes I just need to fold and grieve.
5 comments:
Goddess bless you and your beautiful Sarah.
I hear you Trish
(((hugs)))Pat
ah darling, I cannot image. I cannot. But I would never in a million years tell you to get over it. You are her mommy, of course there are days you just must miss her and want her and need her. You do that. You are allowed to grieve your Sarah.
I KNOW that I left a comment, but here it is one day later and I don't see it. :0(
(((Hugs))) from me to you Trish.
How could you ever "get over" a beautiful little girl who you love and who loves you. She is not really gone - only gone to the world we see...but the grief when it hits...hurts as if it just happened...I can't imagine how it feels but I know you just don't "get over" these things
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