Birth, Death and Marriage

There is a photo taken on our wedding day, we were married at the registry office in Sydney, and behind us you can see the sign that says "Births Deaths and Marriages".  We often commented on it after we lost Sarah (I was pregnant with her when we got married).  It's still one of my favourite photos, I have a cropped version in a frame and it just is what it is, we had a marriage, a birth and a death in ten short months that year, in fact she died exactly ten months after our wedding.

So today is my 52nd birthday.  We celebrated last night as Phill had to go to work early this morning,  he couldn't get the day off as this is his return from two weeks holiday.  I made Thai fish cakes, and chicken satay and we had a nice evening.  Phill had had a few wines and went to bed a bit worse for wear.  At about 9.30 the phone rang and it was Phill's horrible nephew asking to speak to Phill, rather than give me a message he (quite rudely) asked me to wake Phill. I knew why he was ringing, it was all quite odd.  I went in and woke Phill only because I knew he would want me to although it took me about five full minutes to make him understand who was on the phone.  Horrible nephew delivered the sad news that Phill's oldest sister Yvonne had died.  Call me insensitive and none of them can see this but fuck they are a weird bunch.  Why this awful person was nominated to ring Vonnie's little brother is anyone's guess.  He is the son of Phill's other sister, why couldn't it have been her to make the call?  As of now, almost 11am Phill still hasn't spoken to his mother.  I had to give the kids the news, Emily took it badly, Josh barely knew Vonnie, but Em lived with her for a few weeks after she was arrested.  Em is at that age too, she stayed up all night, was still in the tv room at 5 when her father got up to go to work.
Phill is fine, it's not like he didn't know it was coming, and  my job now is to be here to support him and the kids in their loss, I have had an unpleasant past with his peculiar family, but I do feel so much for his mum.  Both his parents are in their mid 80s and this is not how things should be at their age.  Vonnie was such a huge support and help to them before she got sick, as the eldest, and very typically eldest, child, she reminded me a lot of my own big sister, always taking care of everyone else before herself.
One of my fellow bloggers, Dark Mother, posted an amazing comment after me mentioning the kookaburra at Echuca and when I followed the link she gave found some sorely needed insight to my life and my behaviour and feelings of late.  Long story short, just when I was seriously considering giving up on my marriage I was forced to take a good look at myself and after a confrontation with Phill we actually started TALKING again, like we used to, and being honest, him being honest about his needs and how I have been lately which is a huge deal for him.  So easy to give up, so hard to stay and fight but so worth it.
I got a lovely big bottle of Angel perfume (my favourite), my gold bracelet that I bought a few weeks back, and was surprised this morning by a really nice pair of gold earrings that Phill chose.  He has lovely taste in jewellery, everything he's ever given me I've absolutely loved.
And only my children would buy me a flowery card with a beautiful verse and cross out the word "special" and insert the word "retarded".  They love me.
So I've decided I want to go out for lunch and it looks like it will just be me and Josh as Em looks set to sleep the day away.