Old Ways, New Ways

Yesterday was the first time since she got back from Albury that Emily tried the old garbage.  Refused to get up, said she was sick etc etc.  I got cranky with her, but certainly didn't react the way I used to, and eventually left her to it and took Josh to school and went shopping.  I had asked her if she still wanted to see her therapist but she ignored me.  Phill got home and told her if she didn't go to school today (Friday) he would take her phone.  (I'd like to see THAT).  He took her to her appointment and then at 3 we went to group.  She was still ignoring me, and in front of everyone which was a bit embarrassing but that was nothing compared to what was to come.  We can't talk about what goes on in the group obviously, but suffice to say she humiliated me and there was nothing I could do or say in my own defense as I wasn't going to disrupt the proceedings.  I won't be going back, and it's a shame because I was getting a lot, personally, out of it, but she is only going to get out of school and is lying both to her therapist and in group so what is the point?  She won't make any progress that way.  She had left her laptop in the family room so I put it away, normal punishment for non attendance at school.  Last night as I was getting dinner, she stormed into the kitchen and demanded I give it back to her.  Both Phill and I said once she starts going to school again she can have it back.  She went off, just like the old days.  Screaming, yelling, threatening.  I stayed calm but was rattled, and hurt.  She called me some awful names and said some horrible things, then started making fun of what I had said in group that afternoon (that's when I made the decision I wasn't going back and will tell the therapist all this when I call her).  She insisted she had a school assignment to do so Phill told her she could have the computer as long as she sat at the kitchen table to do it where we could see her and the internet would be off.  She screamed and yelled some more, disappeared into the bathroom and when I went in later found she had taken my razors.  She kept waiting till I was watching and lifting up her sleeve to look at her wrists.  Later I found tissues with straight lines of blood on them, she had obviously cut herself, superficially.  Seen it all before.  Eventually she calmed down and sat and did something at the table for a while.  Then she couldn't find her Gameboy and started the histrionics all over again, at one point she came into my room and stood over me abusing me.  I was upset but stayed strong and after Phill shaped up to her and she screamed etc she eventually went into her room, trashed it and finally all went quiet.  Phill, true to form, found his toddler groove and lost his temper accusing me of taking her Gameboy (why would I want to make things worse?) and calling us all "c*nts" over and over and flounced to bed.  Helpful.  Not.  He declared that taking things away achieves nothing.  And today I will agree with him.  I will attempt to wake her for school and if she doesn't go she doesn't go.  She is still under the AVO and if I have to I will enforce it.  Phill actually admitted last night that he was wrong to get the Hillbillies involved last time.  But she can go back down there and they can all be dysfunctional together.  I've seen what a calm and happy life can be like these past few months since she got arrested and had the fear of the law in her for a while and I am not going to give that up, especially for Joshua.
Then Kate phoned me, like an angel sent to me somehow, just what I needed, she is the only one who truly knows what Emily is like and I felt so much better after talking to her.  I sat up for a while with Josh who had some maths homework, and he talked to Kate as well and then we both went to bed and I slept well till I had to get up at 4.30am to take Phill to work in Junee.
I am calm, I am sober, I am determined.  The "experts" have declared her sane and they all say she has no mental health issues.  She is basically just a self centred brat.
My fellow blogger Karisma mentioned in comments that the legal school leaving age is now 17.  This is an UNENFORCEABLE law.  A toothless tiger.  We have tested it and the education department, and the police, have nothing.  I however have the law on my side in the form of an AVO and if I have to use it to protect myself and my son I will do it.  While she is bucking against school, she has no other ideas as an alternative, she is quite capable of applying for some casual work, or looking into TAFE courses but she just can't be bothered and I certainly won't be doing it for her.  I've done enough.
So onwards and upwards.  I cooked a piece of bolar blade beef in the slow cooker yesterday.  Before I went to group I par boiled some potatoes in beef stock, roughed them up a bit, and peeled and cut up some pumpkin and put them in a baking tray in evoo for Phill to put on at 4.  When I got home they were almost done and I made a lovely gravy with the pan juices from the beef.  I had just seared the beef then put it on the rack and turned it on, that was it.  I made some quick Yorkshire pudding and cooked some vegies and we had it all with horseradish cream on the side.  The meat was fall apart tender and delicious with no seasonings during the cooking.  This was all while the drama with Emily was raging.  I am GOOD!  So the slow cooker is a success so far.  Love being able to sear it in the cooking pot, and was able to put the pot on the stove to finish the gravy once I'd thickened it up with cornflour.  I washed the insert and lid by hand, and with the non stick surface it came up lovely with little effort.
The new oil diffuser has a timer on it (not needed in my opinion) but no matter how I follow the instructions it keeps turning itself off.  I'm not convinced it's more effective than the candle lit burners and for the price (almost $90) it actually looks a bit tacky with its plastic and light show thingie.  I finally packed it away and will take it back, not sure if they'll give me a refund but at least a new unit to see if it will stay on this time.  It works by filling the tank with water and has a ceramic thingy on the bottom that makes steam which comes out the top supposedly dispersing the oils into the air.
And my Katy is on the fast track with her career and has changed course re her tertiary studies and has come up with a much more sensible and workable plan.  I am so proud of her, can't believe she will be 22 in a week. 
So Emily might be pulling out all her old ways for what end I am not sure, but I have new ways to deal with it all now.  I have done some serious work on myself in the last few months and now is the time to put it all into practise.