Lonely

I've been feeling increasingly lonely lately, which isn't really like me.  I have always been happy in my own company, ever since I was a child, and it stood me in good stead in my adult life during the many times when I've been on my own or isolated or estranged from family and friends.  But since Phill is away most of time, or so it seems to me, and not having been able to put down roots for so long due to the constant moving, I find myself without adult company and I would like to have that again.  Before I met Phill I had a really nice group of friends, from different times and places in my life.  I would have parties, dinner parties and go to same.  I miss that.  I think that is why I am blogging a lot lately, it's a way of connecting with people, and what wonderful fellow bloggers I have, they enrich my life every day.
But, the time has come for me to get out there again.  Now it's official that we are staying put I want to get involved in my community and start meeting people again.  I was telling myself that until we get the situation with Emily sorted and her settled into some kind of routine I couldn't really get involved in anything for myself.  Bullshit, we may never get Emily sorted, and if I wait for that I'll turn into a crazy old cat lady.  I have a few ideas of what I want to do and while it will be really hard to put myself out there again it has to be done.  I feel that I am sinking a bit into depression, whether that is the old thing coming back or it's just reactive given the problems with Emily, and while I suspect the latter I need to take action.  I started taking my St Johns Wort and my executive B again, along with the other stuff I was taking.  If I have to go back on the antidepressants then so be it.
Phill won't be home till later and Josh wasn't feeling too good when he woke up so I told him he can stay home today.  If he comes good later he can help us at the old house.  He can have a break from the PE humiliation he suffers at the hand of one female teacher. 
Sucks not having my own computer, I can't access emails or favourites. 
Foggy and frosty this morning even now at nearly twenty to nine.  I have a load of washing on, just about to empty the dishwasher and get in the shower to get ready for a day of hard work at the old house.  I'll be glad when that's behind us and we can hand in the keys and put all those bad memories of that place behind us. 
And if I was Sue Pieters-Hawke I would have slapped Blanche D'Apulget too.
We have a pretty shrub with pink flowers just outside our bedroom window and I can see little birds playing among the branches.  I'll take a photo of it later and see if someone can identify it for me.