Soggy Friday

I felt like I was standing in a puddle as I hung the washing this morning, well I guess I was really, the whole backyard is a puddle!  We had more rain overnight but the sun came out this morning so I hung the washing outside instead of in the stables.
I am not going to let Phill get me down, he's going through something, or is just turning into a bitter and grumpy old man I don't know, he doesn't talk about it and I've given up asking.  I won't be called names or talked down to and while he keeps doing that I'll keep standing up to him.  All the years he's worked away and left me to cope alone have made me stronger and more independent but also a bit set in my ways at home and it's like he needs to flex his virtual muscles when he's home, interfering and changing things.  That isn't going to happen.  And life is too short to be unhappy.  Other than his behaviour, I'm enjoying this time of my life.  My children are growing up fast and I want to enjoy (almost) every moment of them.  I am feeling healthier and more stable mentally and emotionally than I have in many, many years and for the first time in ages I have hope for my future.  And it's looking more and more like that future will be me on my own once the kids fly the coop.  I choose to stay for now, and this is something I have thought long and hard about, it's a small price to pay to give the kids a comfortable home and lifestyle for these last years before they're out on their own.  There isn't any yelling or fighting going on, and they can see him for what he is anyway now that they're older.  Things might get better, although they will never be what they were, but whatever happens I have plans in place and I'll be fine.
I took the kids for a drive around town last night to see the Christmas lights.  What Christmas lights?  We couldn't believe it, only about four houses had any.  Even the town tree wasn't lit up but we saw a fellow working on it trying to fix it.  I remember when the kids were little lots of houses were beautifully decorated at Christmas, it was a tradition to drive around town and enjoy them.  Often there'd be a bloke dressed as Santa who would hand out lollies to the littlies.  We've never done a lot of lights as we've always rented and are loath to put too many nails and hooks in to hang them off.  But it was nice to turn into our driveway and see our tree lit up in the window, and our back porch festooned with fairy lights.  We had to come home as it was getting dark and I can't see to drive at night, but I told them we'd go out again on the weekend when Dad was home and cover more of the town. 
The tiles were coming off the bottom of the shower recess and it's obvious that there is some leaking going on through the wall.  We told the real estate who told the owner (thankfully she doesn't contact us anymore) and she sent a handyman around thinking it was just a matter of sticking the tiles back on.  We could have done that and would have if it was that simple.  He went back and told her that the whole stall would have to be stripped, dried out, waterproofed and redone.  Apparently the original job was a dodgy one and whoever did it, didn't waterproof it properly.  Who cares it's not our house, but it means we'll be without a shower for a week or so.  I'm going to get a shower hose thingy for the bath and we'll have to make do.  I wash my hair every day so it should be interesting.  If things get too desperate I'll go down to the caravan park and ask if I can pay to use their shower block.
I got some diced lean pork on special the other day.  I usually just grab the cheap meat when I see it and figure out what I'll do with it later.  I looked up slow cooker recipes with pork and one came up for Sweet and Sour Pork.  I have never cooked that as I've never been a big fan of sweet and sour and Phill doesn't like it.  I used to make a great sweet and sour meatball recipe for parties back in the day but that's about it.  Anyway I thought I'd give this one a go. 

I just whacked the pork in the cooker, didn't even brown it, as per the recipe.

Cut up a green capsicum and half an onion and put that on top then drained a can of pineapple chunks in juice and mixed the juice with brown sugar, cornflour, soy sauce and apple cider vinegar and poured it over.  I also added a carrot chopped up which wasn't in the recipe.

Later on I'll add the pineapple chunks and we'll have it with rice.  The kids might even like it!  I have spoiled the kids by often making them separate meals when we're having something they don't like.  Lately though I just make one meal and put it on the table and if they don't eat it they go hungry.  Did it with the delicious pot roast and also again last night when I made my lovely salmon quiche which Emily normally won't eat.  I just dished it out and put a big salad on the table and everyone sat down and ate.  Amazing!  She didn't even complain.  Out of habit I'd bought the doings for spaghetti carbonara to make for her, so that will do us all for another meal.  I am just really enjoying having a normal life lately after the crazy year I've had.  We're all settling in more and more and I have plans next year to get out into the community both by volunteering and doing some kind of study.  Emily even said last night that she loves school.  After I picked myself up off the floor I realised that coming here, and staying here, in spite of Phill's constant bleating about wanting to move here or there, was so the right thing to do.  Finally.  I love listening to the two kids gossip about school, and teachers and the goings on there and I just know next year is going to be a better one for them, and for me too.  And Phill might even get used to the fact that his wife has grown a backbone and we might be able to renegotiate a more grown up relationship instead of the parent/child one that existed before.  I am capable too, and I'm intelligent and creative and thoughtful and I'm a good mother and a good person.  I raise my children with love, kindness, understanding and humour and while things aren't always perfect, in the end I think they'll be alright.

We live near the cherry growing capital of pretty much everywhere, and because the farmers have done it tough due to the weather I resolved that I would buy cherries this Christmas no matter what the cost, you know do my bit to help.  Yesterday I saw them in Woolworths for $15.98 a kg and as it's an off pay week I decided I'd get them next week and then some more for the Christmas trifle.  Later I ducked into the IGA supermarket for something I'd forgotten and saw them for $8.98 a kg.  Someone is ripping someone off somewhere.  I bought a small amount to see what they were like and they are lovely.  In fact all the F&V at IGA are cheaper and look better, I wonder if they source everything locally rather than having it shipped in like I suspect Woolies does here.

Julie, Em's mentor called in last night with the pages for Emily's "coffee table book" that she's been talking about for ages.  It's just a little A5 size, hardly a coffee table book, but beautifully done, she's put photos of Emily in there, well all of us really as there's a photo of Phill and I with Em as a newborn and some with Josh in them, even Noah got featured, as well as photos of her artwork and some words about her mentoring experience from both Julie and Emily.  It's really lovely, we are going to put the books together ourselves as we have the equipment here.  I'm going to make one up and send it to Phill's mother, who is an accomplished artist and where both children get their talent from.  She'll love it. 

I've been cleaning out cupboards and drawers, still have a lot to do but I'll get to it.

The chilli and capsicum plants which Phill put in pots are falling over.  They seem to have a lot of foliage and no flowers or buds yet which is strange.  I'm going to go out now and stake them with chopsticks and kitchen string (all I can find for now!).  Then I have floors to wash and tidying to do.  Enjoying what is probably my last day to myself for six weeks or so.

And I finally got around to soaking the fruit and nuts for my Christmas cake.  I had a packet of fruit medley in the cupboard, dried apricots, apples, peach and pear so I used some of that with some ordinary mixed fruit and also some macadamias and walnuts and some glace ginger.  I use the old fashioned Commonsense Cookery book boiled fruit cake recipe but jazz it up a bit.  So it's on the stove soaking in brown sugar, brandy and mixed spice and it smells like Christmas.  My mother used to always make a Christmas cake (a proper one) and a pudding and I'm sure she made extra mix as it seemed every time someone would pass the pan where the fruit was soaking, they'd pinch a spoonful of it, and there were five kids in our family!

I've decided to make some homemade fruit mince pies this year for the first time in almost 30 years.  I used always to make my own pastry when my older kids were little, don't think I've ever made my own fruit mince, I might have but I think I just used the bottled stuff.  I just feel like Christmas cooking, I'll make our shortbread soon too.  I use the same recipe I've made since Katy was a baby and we always get compliments for it.  Christmas is all about tradition isn't it?  I lost it for a while but it's coming back to me now.