I had a long, long talk with Kate on the phone last night and it was good. She's back at uni, an external business course while she works in management and I'm proud and happy. It's not what I ever envisaged for her, and we've been through some heavy stuff to get to this point, but she's on track and working towards her goal and seems happy and content with her life in Perth. She talked to Josh for a long time also and we both agreed he is sooo much like her. Emily wouldn't talk to her, I think she still feels a bit abandoned and I totally get that as I feel it too sometimes. I have pretty much accepted that she probably won't come back home (not to us but to NSW) for a long time, if ever, but that is the reality that a lot of parents face with their kids these days. I love her so much and we need to get our relationship back to where it was, if not better. It's funny as we raise our children, envisaging for them a better life than what we had, and seeing them go in totally different directions that what we had planned for them. And it's spurred me on to get my relationships with two of my older kids working better. I have one daughter turning 21 in September (Katy) and one turning 30 in October, (Amanda, we share a birthday!). No longer can I put onto them what I think our connection should be, it has to be whatever it is, for them and for me. Mothering takes so many forms as the children grow and change and evolve and become adults and then move through their lives. This is a lesson I am learning and I'm grateful for learning it. For my adult kids I need to be here in whatever way they need me to be, and for my youngest I still have some nurturing and hands on parenting to do.
Been awake watching "Little Britain" clips on YouTube. So funny. When I laugh in bed the windows shake. I think this house will fall down one day, but what better reason to fall down than from laughter!
And OMG I just found all the writing I thought I had lost re my bio book. I kind of lost momentum when I thought it was all gone. Relief and feeling like carrying on now rather than the prospect of starting again.
3 comments:
What a beautiful post! :-) This week one of my babies is finally flying the coop and moving interstate. Its been a week of us preparing and of daddy kind of freaking out at his little girl going so far away from his protection.
I have to say for some reason I am actually finally complacent. We have had a good mama/daughter talk and we are in agreement that she will give it her all, (she is having second thoughts now it comes down to it!) I suggested she be positive and strive for what she was looking for but always know that her place was still here at home if she needs it.
With all this going on, the daddy and I have been rather relaxed in the parenting dept of the other kids. DD3 was most put out that we were not trying to run her life right now as she is undecided week to week about what it is she really wants to do with her life! LOL! "Why can't you be like other parents and tell me!" Ah she cracks me up! Of course I worry and wonder but really it IS her life is it not? If I told her what to do she would resent me for it! And for the record, she has changed her mind three times in the past 3 weeks.
My answer to her was STUDY, finish your HSC and get that bloody ARTWORK finished. The teacher has refused to let her bring it home anymore. Its massive, 10 pieces and only the first one nearly done. So intricate! I don't know how she will finish it.
Ahhh kids are funny hey?
Have a great weekend lovely! Hugs and smoochies xoxoxo
Hey there - I watched my mother go through this with my sister. (My sister is 12 years younger than I am) I haven't quite hit it myself yet but I do stay up and worry sometimes - my oldest wants so badly to please and I worry that she'll do what she things we want instead of finding her own way - and then the opposite problem with the 8 yr old! It is a tricky thing being mom! I am glad you found your bio book! Yay!
And I have this lovely image of you laughing in bed and your house coming down around you ;-)
Both of mine left home in 1994 sigh...They swear they will never return to their old home town - and I can't choose between Melbourne and Sydney - sigh again
glad you and your elder ones are communicating now
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