I say "no" to it.
Why am I blogging about it now? Well number one I don't even know when "Red Nose Day" is/was this year because they cleverly don't mention it on the merchandise anymore. I assume it was sometime at the end of June because that is when it usually is. Two, I don't support the cause these days because they have totally lost the plot and aren't about supporting SIDS families in the way that they used to.
Any time a child dies is horrible for the parents. I have experienced my mother losing her oldest son, my stepfather losing his son, my sister losing two babies who were born too early, one stillborn and one dying soon after. In the case of my sister, her twins were born in the early 80's when there was little or no support, that isn't the case now thanks to SANDS.
When my daughter Sarah died from SIDS, aged four and half months, in September 1994 we were well supported by what was then known as SIDA. "Sudden Infant Death Association". This had been formed for SIDS families BY SIDS families, and as the organisation grew, was staffed only by SIDS parents. I can honestly say that I don't know where we'd be today if it wasn't for that group of people who held us up and offerred tangible, REAL support when we so desperately needed it. I later became a volunteer to help other families and I did. I ran the local support group, was the editor of our local newsletter, conducted educational talks and manned the emergency after hours phone line. I spoke to many people on the phone, some very memorable nights like the one where the father, who had found his infant daughter dead in her cot (as I had) rang just hours afterwards. A grandmother who was grieving for her lost grandchild but more concerned for her daughter, the baby's mother who was not coping and yet didn't want outside help. I really felt I was making a difference. Then SIDA got too big. The funds that the annual Red Nose Day generated made them into a huge corporation and they decided that they needed "corporate people" to run it rather than the good folk who understood. They deemed that we needed to be "professional" even though we were just bereaved parents wanting to help others who although we welcomed the courses they offerred, and took them, didn't WANT to be professionals. Whatever that meant.
Then came the call that SIDA wouldn't be SIDA anymore, but an organisation who would support families who had lost a child up to the age of six or so, from any cause. The lines got blurred, there were disagreements and sides taken. I accepted the changes, losing a child, no matter how it happens, is pretty much generic. But they got nasty, and many, if not most, volunteers from that time departed, hurt, offended and confused.
SIDS for Kids exists today but I have no idea what they really do except fundraise and hold a yearly ball or something (for rich people). I have asked several times to have the newsletter sent to me but to no avail.
If you know a parent who has lost a baby to SIDS please be kind and supportive. Don't offer advice or platitudes, but also think twice about supporting Red Nose Day. It's not what you think it is, and it's certainly not what it was intended to be back in 1990, at its inception.
3 comments:
I agree with you. I did not know all this info, so thank you for the update. I initially supported the day when it started but later stopped due to the amount of what I consider plastic junk being left over. I would add some money to the box but not take the nose. I think half the reason so many people are in depression these days is due to lack of humanity or feelings for people in general. It seems to be getting stamped out from people from a very young age. Nobody wants to talk to someone who has no idea about how they really feel at times like these do they? I have faith though that those who truly need that lifeline will find it in people like yourself who really do understand and can really do some good. I think in many charities these days they have lost the true meaning and direction they started with. Hugs xoxox
This post is a great eye opener and really a sad story. But a valuable lesson is there - Bigger is not necessarily better.
I don't support it either and for the same reasons - like a lot of good organisations it has been taken over - same with the pink thing for Breast cancer - meanwhile some excellent alternatives which do help deal with cancers are ignored by the very same people saying they are looking for a cure - its just hypocrisy and big business
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