The Big Chill

The temperature got down to minus three overnight and even though the little gas heater in the kitchen stayed on all night the house was freezing this morning.  I was sitting in bed in pjs, bedsocks, a jacket and a scarf around my neck with the electric blanket turned on full!  I feel the cold more these days, getting old I guess.
I rang a number in the local paper that advertised a load of wood delivered for $100.  Guy talked me into getting the double load for $180.  Later I decided that would leave me too short so I rang him back and asked for the smaller load.  Surprise, he suddenly decided he couldn't deliver it today after all, he was having problems with his saw and suggested I ring someone else.  Barstard.  Why bother advertising it if you don't want to provide it?  We have enough for one more fire tonight and I could not find any other wood suppliers except for one who will sell me a tonne for $70 if I pick it up.  I've decided to take a drive tomorrow and see if I can get some myself and if not I will ring him and ask if he'll just sell me a bootload.  Failing that we'll just manage with the gas heater and the little fan heater and rug up.  I had a dummy spit this morning, just so fed up with coping with the house and the kids and all that goes with it on my own all the time.  I'm feeling sad, lonely and sorry for myself and not sure how much longer I can go on like this, but what other choice is there?
The visit with Ali and Mat and Harvey was nice, although I had a bad head cold and felt a bit overwhelmed by all the cooking I'd planned.  Today is her birthday and we sent her a present but she didn't bother to let me know it had arrived and thank me.  I know I didn't raise those kids but what ever happened to common decency and manners.  I finally rang her this morning and she said she received it yesterday but was a bit offhand.  I'm so sick of them running hot and cold with me, they can all go take a flying leap, I'm over it.

I had promised to take Em and Josh away during the holidays, even just for one night.  So yesterday we packed up and headed to Dubbo.  On the way we decided we really didn't want to see the zoo again and as we couldn't get into any of the good motels we were going to take pot luck, and what if we ended up in somewhere crappy?  I really didn't feel like the drive and suggested I spend the money I would have spent on the motel and bought them toys instead?  They liked the idea so we stopped at Young and Em chose a really nice scooter, Josh got a huge lego set and we bought a modern version of Monopoly.  They don't give you paper money now, everyone gets what looks like a credit card and there is a little electronic machine that keeps tally of the money.  We played for a few hours last night and it was really fun.  When we go away I always let them have one thing each from the mini bar so last night we got some "mini bar like treats" for them, and they were happy.  Back to school on Tuesday and believe it or not I will miss them.

So I'm a bit of a misery guts today but I'll get over it.  At least the sun shone after so much rain and I was able to get some clothes dry out on the line.

I'm watching Christmas cooking shows on tv, guess they're doing the Christmas in July thing which never made sense to me.  Just once it would be nice to spend Christmas in a northern hemisphere country but not in July! 

The kids just barrelled in from their second trip to the park with Em's scooter.  Looks like I'll be forking out for one for Josh as well.  Great exercise and just what they need.

This is the window in the hallway that looks out onto the front porch.  It has no flyscreen and the kids opened the window and are playing "banks" with the Monopoly calculator.  I so love that they still play make believe at their age.  Quirky though it often is (but always has been even when they were little), it's good to see them still enjoying being kids.

Well it's taken me an hour or so to write this in between stoking the fire and checking on the washing and watching Delia cook Christmas.  And I feel better as I always do when I've vented a bit on my blog.

And guess what I'LL be doing tomorrow?

Chicken and Garlic Tortellini with creamy bacon and mushroom sauce tonight for me and Em, good old Fish Fingers for Josh and salad and garlic bread all round.  Yes I know it's cold for salad but I get the vegies in

them any way I can!