Happiness - No Accident

I guess I am living proof that it is never too late to turn things around and take charge and make changes for the better.  I am feeling better every day, full of energy to get everything done that I need to do for my family, and pleasantly tired at the end of each day and sleeping like a baby (well better than that, a lot of babies don't sleep very well).
My relationship with the kids is better, and I'm even able to be firm with them again after losing all confidence as a mother and stepping back to let Phill take charge there, but while he loves them and has all good intentions, he never thinks about parenting, just kind of shoots from the hip and doesn't allow for consequences. 
My relationship with Phill is interesting.  I admitted to him that I have a long term plan and it doesn't include him if things continue the way they have been.  I was brutally honest with him and told him if he wants to keep me he has to give me reasons to want to stay with him.  That kind of brought down a wall between us, which surprised me.  He knows I love him, and I do, I wouldn't have stayed past the point of no return if I didn't.  We have a lot of good things between us, he just needs to learn that he is not the general and we are not his army.  I think he is appreciating the return of my confidence and my capabilities and actually enjoying me taking charge of the things I had left to him to deal with for so long when I was depressed and so mentally unstable.
My menopause symptoms once again have all but disappeared, I put that down to no alcohol and also the Menoease supplements I am taking, as well as my super healthy eating.  After all the liver regulates our hormones so the no booze thing is a no brainer.
The weather here is wonderful and I've been making good use of the pool, I spent all afternoon out there yesterday after I'd done everything I needed to do in the house.  The kids went in after school and stayed until after dark.  Our lease is up, and oddly that has made me relaxed.  Now, if the house sells, they have to give us three months notice to vacate and even if that happened now, it takes us up to the end of January, which gives us most of the Summer to enjoy the pool, and we will look for something else, hopefully long term as /Autumn approaches next year. I actually love this house, daggy and falling apart though it is.  It has a nice feel, people have been happy here, there is no bad energy, except maybe from us, I've had a few horrible melt downs in this place, but nothing a good smudging or two won't fix.  But the rent is too high for what it is, and the extra room that we thought would be a good tv room, isn't.  Kids don't need a gaming room as such now, as they both have tvs in their rooms.
So I'm enjoying the little garden that we have, we ate silver beet fresh from the grave the other night.  I'm composting again at last.  The bin sat by the garage since we moved here, I was downheartened as I just had a nice lot of compost in the other house and we had to leave it there, but we'd made a nice herb and vegie garden and it was good karma I guess.  Even though our previous landlady was a nasty piece, she did like her garden and I'm sure she left it all there and looked after it when she moved back in.  The bitch.
It's amazing the amount of food scraps we have, especially now we are eating so much fruit and veg.  I have a little bin on my kitchen counter, then a bigger pedal bin with a removable insert out by the backdoor and when that gets full I just take it to the compost bin which is in a corner of the pool yard. 
We've got people looking at the house this morning, and they might be looking at sleeping bodies.  Phill got home from work at 4am, and I'm buggered if Josh should have to get up before he's ready on a Saturday.  Not my problem if they want to schedule inspections at 10am on a weekend.
I've been getting up early and baking healthy stuff for Josh to take to school, and he's even been taking sandwiches and tubs of stuff as he doesn't like the food the canteen sells.  I made wholemeal muffins yesterday with fresh blueberries and they were lovely.

If I'm prepared, it takes little time to whip up a batch of something and so much nicer for him to take really fresh snacks to school.

Good weekend ahead, we'll bbq tonight, I'm going to make my own pork, sage and apple sausages, bought ones are full of preservatives and Goddess knows what else.  I'll make some healthy salads and a Hummingbird Cake, doesn't that sound sweet? Healthy too, with fruit and nuts and no fat.

I am happy, and I made myself this way.

Off to water the garden, have a shower, hang the washing and wait for the sleeping people inspectors to arrive.